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Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Good Wife's Guide

As I've said, I don't mind trying my best to be a good wife, and will go as far as trying to be a good 1950's wife.....to a certain extent.

My mother gave me this in a book she was given as a new wife. And for all you 'women libbers' out there, pipe down. I don't get your angle at all. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be the best wife you can me, just don't lose yourself in it.




* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Now, I am a planner. And yes, sometimes the night before I am planning what to make for dinner, I see nothing wrong with that. We like good food, and by good food I mean home made, not out of a box, not frozen. Take a look at this blog, you can tell we love to cook. We also don't make a routine to go through the drivethrough either.
My man comes home from work (as do I) and is hungry and I am more than happy to make a hot homemade meal for him and my children. However, there are occasions where I am tired or he just wants to...make dinner for us.
And yes, he gets his plate and beer served in his chair. I love waiting on my family. And it does get reciprocated!

* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
I honestly wish I cared enough about myself to do this. I just don't. I'm 38 people! I'm picking up after kids and cleaning house and tired. So basically, we're past that. I'm sure he'd love to have me all dolled up, but too bad. I bathe....that's good enough!

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
I have no response...I'm speechless. This is a bit ridiculous! I don't pretend for my husband. He knows I am here to listen about his day, and generally he calls me on his way home to start the discussion.

* Clear away clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
I do this for myself! I hate clutter!

* Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
This is what chore charts and children are for.

* Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will give you immense personal satisfaction.
I am not allowed to build a fire in the fireplace anymore, I burnt my eyebrows and lashes last year...nuff said.

* Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
I washed my kids faces, hands, hineys, noses, etc when they were small...not for the love of being a good wife....for the love of cleanliness! By the time I get home, my kids have been home from school, done chores and homework and they are relaxing. What they are dressed in is last on my list of concerns.
I do keep them quiet to a certain extent, I am used to noise, the Mr. not so much so they know their limits when he's home.

* Be happy to see him.
Don't push it, that depends on my mood!

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Trust me, he knows.

* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
The moment of his arrival, generally I am back from work and hopefully had time to change, checking on the kids and getting dinner started. He gets attention for the most part, but no trumpets.

* Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner, or other place of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Now this one I have a real problem with. This is where my mouth breaks through the zipper, padlock and nails that time has forgot. If my husband is late, he calls. If my husband is going to dinner out with me, there's a reason, either I don't like who he's going with, it's a business meeting or I didn't feel like it. And if he's going to a 'place of entertainment', generally its a show I don't care to be at.

* Your goal: try to make your home a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Our home : a place of peace, order and tranquility? I have a tween and a teen..both girls. Please. My home stays clean and orderly, but it's more for my sanity than for anyone's body and spirit.

* Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Pipe down, 1950's. My complaints and problems are shared loud and clear!

* Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Consider this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Again, if he's late, he calls. But if he stays out all night with no call...he's in trouble.

* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
He makes himself comfortable in his lounger, he gets beer or I bring it to him. If he wants to go lie down, he's a big boy and can do it on his own. I do rub his feet or his back or his shoulders. He is pampered.

* Arrange his pillows and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
This I do, everynight I fluff his pillow in bed, and I've been known to take off his shoes and socks and rub his feet. BUT, never have I EVER spoken in a low soothing voice.

* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. you have no right to question him.
Bite me.

* A good wife always knows her place.
Yes I do. And that's for me to know and you to wonder!

1 comment:

sheri said...

Spoken like a true wife and mother in the year 2009!!