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Monday, November 9, 2009

Definitions - The Mommie Edition...

Amnesia:
condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Top Bunk:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-Minute Warning:
when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Grandparents:
the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Impregnable:
a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Puddle:
a small body of water that draws other small bodies into it.

Dumbwaiter:
One who asks if the kids want ice cream.

Family Planning:
the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart at the dinner table, to avoid a food fight.

Feedback:
The gift your kids give you. Even when it’s not your birthday.

Full Name:
what you call your child when you’re mad at them.

Hear-say:
what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independent:
how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Ow:
the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Prenatal:
when your life was still somewhat your own.

Sterilize:
what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Who-dunit:
none of the kids that live in your house.

1 comment:

Sheri said...

OMG! I forget to read your blog everyday and here Brett and I sit, reading your entry today and really laughing...you explain things, so spot on with humor! A real talent you have!