Just around the corner - Sunday - 3 days away - it's Halloween! This year I am mourning the loss of trick or treating with my children. My oldest, the social butterfly, will again be at a party. But my youngest, who will be 14 in December, has chosen to not trick or treat.
A little piece of me died. Like the time her father and step mother told her there was no Santa Claus. Or when she stopped holding my hand in public. I'm not ready for all of this. I can't be! It seems like just yesterday my babies were...well babies! I would dress them up, put bows in their hair and walk hand in hand with my precious little babies.
Wow. And now? They are coloring their hair, and gauging their ears and talking about piercings and tattoos and make up. OH MY! Now, don't get me wrong. I think it is righteous to have my girls in this age of self expression, and I do my best not to stifle them as I was stifled. It gives me the most greatest pleasure to allow them the freedom to gauge....or pierce something....and awaiting excitedly their first tattoo. Hell, I waited until I was 28 years old, and even then I hid it from mother. When she saw it, I got the head shake and tisk tisk. Bitch.
And being able to watch them grow and flourish into young women, I miss wiping their grubby little hands. I miss waiting on them hand and foot. Giving them baths and smelling their warm little heads. Putting their footed jammies on and having a snuggle. It went by so quickly and no one tells you how you're going to miss it!
Halloween was always fun when they were small. Dressing them up and parading around the neighborhood getting candy. All the laughing and screaming. Loved it! This year, my baby doesn't want to do that. Instead she wants to be the grossest scariest zombie and scare the shit out of kids coming to our house for candy.
Hell Yeah! Crossing the threshold to another phase in life. Mourning the loss of my babies...and relishing the passing of the spooky torch.