Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Fun After 40?

So, as I was Stumbling through blogs today, one caught my eye.  Five Ways To Have Fun After 40.

Do we really need advice like this?

Do women over 40 really need to look up things to do for fun in their relationship?  I'd like to think that now that I'm 40, I really don't need anyone to tell me ideas on how to have fun/romance with my own husband.

But to humor you, I'll list what this blog said :

1. Lighten up. Your body doesn’t look like it did when you were twenty. So what? Everyone ages, even supermodels. Don’t hold yourself to impossible standards when it comes to your appearance. I’m not saying to let yourself go; in fact you can still be in great shape in your forties and beyond if that’s a priority for you. Whatever shape you’re in, learn how to be comfortable in your own skin. Sexy is a state of mind, not a dress size.

   *If you are still hung up with how your body looks at 40, just hide under a damn rock or get the fuck over it. MommieDawn

2. Lock the bedroom door… from the outside. Have sex in any room other than the bedroom. The change of scenery will work wonders. If you have children, try to do this when they’re not home.

  *If you haven't had sex in any room other than the bedroom at this point, join a damn nunnery.  And for Christ's Sake, if you have to be reminded not to have sex out in the open when your kids are's time for the Old Folks Home. MommieDawn

3. Use props. A can of whipped cream, a blindfold, or even something as simple as a pair of high heels, can add an added dimension of excitement and fun into a relationship. I recommend the old Nike slogan: just do it. Don’t talk about it in advance, or ask what he’d like. Use your imagination and go for it. I guarantee that even if you feel a little silly or awkward, your man will go wild over the new experience.

  *Use 'props'?  Look, the whipped cream is for dessert and my kids would kill me if it went missing. Besides, that's some sticky shit...keep it on the pies not on your piebox.  At this point in my life if I have to use 'props' because I'm bored in the bedroom shoot me.  All I need is my hand or my husband...and I'm good.  MommieDawn

4. Make a bucket list. Not for things you want to do before you die, but of the things you want to do together in the next year. Sit down together and create the list, and be sure to include at least a couple of spicy things. I’ll bet you’ll be surprised by some of the things you each come up with. Then start doing them!

  *This one's not bad...but not so much for a list of 'things to do when you're bored''s just things to do.  Oh, but make sure you put something on the list about having sex somewhere...

5. Shut off the television. We are creatures of habit, but as mature creatures, we have the ability to change the habits that don’t serve us. Television serves as a barrier to intimacy. It’s easy to hide behind the news or your favorite show. When you shut the television off, you have to communicate with the other person in the room. Designate one night a week a TV-Free Zone, and use it to talk instead. Talk about your dreams, your fears, and your memories. Reminiscing is a great way to reconnect. Engage in a dialogue rather than two running monologues; ask for input and elicit feedback from your partner. If you don’t consciously create time to do this kind of talking, it usually doesn’t get done. And that’s when things start to get boring.

  *Actually, if you're on the correct channel...say like Pay Per View...television is anything BUT a barrier to intimacy.  And in all actuality, watching television as a couple while snuggled up on the sofa is nice.  If you have to 'designate' a TV free zone on purpose to actually have face time with your man...schedule in some therapy for that as well.  MommieDawn

If I have gotten so bored with my life that I can no longer find anything to do 'fun' or sexual with my own husband - lead me out back and shoot me.

Besides the fact that most of us are mothers as well as wives - I think we have a pretty full plate on the norm. So, to the author of this article... Miss Johanna Lyman...thanks but I'm fine.

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