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Friday, February 3, 2012

3:14

That's what time it is. In the morning.

I don't have a newborn that I have to be up to breastfeed. Those days are over, sadly.

I don't work at a radio station morning show or for the local television station that requires me to wake up at this time.

So, why am I up?  The same reason I've slept more on the sofa than in my own bed for at least part of the past 3 years.

The Yeti.

It's raining outside as well.

The cat Sophie is in the kitchen hunting something. Does that mean I have to go look? Hell no, she better kill and eat whatever it is.

Okay, so I can't take my own advice....I had to investigate. We live in Texas and it's a mostly wooded area. And that means tree roaches.  I've grown up with them.  At a very early age we were taught the difference between roaches. Yes, there is a difference....according to my mother type person.  The big ones are called 'tree roaches'. Those are the huge ass roaches that can make noise walking on shit because they're so friggin big.  The smaller roaches she called 'the nasty filthy roach', and they're there because you're a nasty filthy person.  Where there is filth, there are the nasty ones.  Basically, if you have small roaches it's because you're a horrible housekeeper.

Anyway, we have tree roaches. They live outside under tree bark and love wet and humid areas to live in.  However, they will come and venture inside. Gross. When my husband's home, I scream like an idiot and make him kill them.  When he's not home, I have to be brave and kill them so my kids will stop screaming. I hate being brave. Roaches are gross.

Guess what was in the kitchen being played with by Sophie? A huge tree roach. Like the brave woman I am I just killed it first by grabbing the closest weapon (Windex) and spraying him and then squashing him with the bottle.  And yes, it was a him. All roaches are hims to me. Period.

So, I've been able to waste some time being up in the middle of the night.  Dr. Oz is on...whom I cannot stand...but Rosie O'Donnell is on so I have to watch.

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