The 950s Michael Berry - Gay Bar - Drag Night - Hit and Run

That sounds beautiful.  Music to my ears.  Everyone knows my disdain for Michael Berry. It goes way back. In my personal opinion, he's a racist bigot gay hater ass kisser big mouth that dresses horribly and who's pasty white ashy saggy waste of flesh is a thorn in this city's side.

But that's just me.

Click HERE to listen to Praise Whiskey's opinions. :)

The idea of Michael Berry at a gay bar in Montrose on drag night is music to my ears.  But, backing up 70 feet and hitting the bouncer's car?! I just peed a little. 

I won't spend too much time on this here....because honestly I can't stop my hands from shaking long enough to compose words.  

Go HERE to read in the Houston Press about the latest on Michael Berry at a gay bar. Go HERE to read about an incident in 2007..where Berry said two Mexicans hijacked him at knife point.  What an idiot. 

Seems a shame that this happened back in January and it seems that he's been able to keep it quiet and not have charges filed against him.  I hope the spot light on this balding pasty head will change that!

Here is the HPD memo



**UPDATE**

Click HERE to listen to Berry sputter spit on the mic saying 'all that he's allowed to say' at the moment.  He doesn't care what you have to say. He really doesn't.

There's a world of haters.  He says.   Poor thing.  Karma is a bitch, but she's taking names.  Oh, and he
knows things that would blow our minds.  I bet he does.  I don't want to know what he knows.
I couldn't live with myself.

He asks us to hold our judgement.

Like he did when he blabbered on about people in his WHOLE career time and time again and was
wrong in the end.  I refuse to post examples, because Berry would
be expecting that.  I refuse to work too hard to prove him a bastard asswipe.  He's
doing fine all on his own.  He's due for a nutbar
break down...past due actually.  Hijack of 2007, shock jock attempt of 2009 and the
great gay crash bang getaway of 2012.

Eyebrows - Shave 'Em

No, not off.  Please, don't ever shave your eyebrows off only to draw them on with a result that looks like Helen Keller took to your face with a sharpie marker.

Like This :

Or This :

Please. Don't Ever Do That.

This only worked for the late and great Greta Garbo.

However, there is a way to shave your brows that is perfectly fine. And not clown like.  There are teeny miniature razors called eyebrow razors.  Target sells a brand called Stiles.  They run a few dollars, but you can find them at Big Lots, same brand, for around a buck.

This razor replaces tweezing (which is terribly painful) and waxing (which isn't always convenient).  I haven't had my brows waxed in years.  I refuse to pay for something I can do myself....like my brows or my hair or my nails.  I love to remind my husband how low maintenance I am and how much money I save him.

Generally we use a Sally Hansen facial hair removal lotion.  I've taught my daughters to do the same.  It's stinky, but they can easily shape their brows with a Q-Tip and do it themselves. When I came across the Stiles Eyebrow Razor, we all fell in love.  It's very convenient.

In the 80s when I was a teen, I had what was referred to as Brooke Sheilds eyebrows. I loved them, very full.  Back then we loved big bushy eyebrows. Now that I'm in my 40s, my brows are less full and thick so I've learned to implement with brow shadows.  Below, I let my brows grow like a crazy person, just for this tutorial.  It has nothing to do with me being lazy or busy or never spending too much time in front of the mirror. Not at all. It was just for THIS post. I swear.

**WARNING**

There are photos of me here with no make-up. Please make sure you

are seated and not under the care of a physician.

You have been warned.

Here it is. 

And there's the teenie little razor.

\

And here is the monster scary brow.

Shave It Away!

Going Old School. Brush up

the brow....

And Cut Off The Top

To Make Them Nice

Uniform and Straight.

**Don't judge my dirty scissors**

BAM!

Now, for some more help.

There are literally tons of brow

kits out there. This is mine.

Now, that looks better. 

Not perfect. 

But better. 

I've Got The Blues, Jen

If you don't know what the title of this blog and the photo above have to do with each other, I pity the fool.

I did my nails blue yesterday with a glitter topcoat. Of course with more .99 cent bottles from Sally's Beauty Supply.

Then I started to notice all the things of the same hue in my house.

Blue Polish.

Here's the blue nails.   

My daughter went from cotton candy pink to blue as well.

Love it!

Just noticed my lighter is the same blue.

And the iPod. 

Blue.

V-Day Candyness

Valentine's Day SO snuck up on me this year.  It seems I did everything last minute.  I also warned my daughters, "Don't come in this kitchen!" because I was trying to get everything together. My 15 year old yelled, "What if I'm dying?!"  My reply, "Die in the back yard."

The first thing I did was cupcakes. And while I am a HUGE proponent of everything made from scratch, I did not have the time to mess with that yesterday.  Canned icing and boxed cake mix it was.

I tinted the icing with red food coloring and piped them into what was supposed to be roses.  Here's the video of what they were supposed to look like :

Now, using canned icing and not homemade buttercream, my roses weren't so much roses. Canned icing is so soft and won't stand up like homemade buttercream. Also, for the life of me I could NOT find my 2D icing tip. That's the ONE tip we use most often! So I implemented with a smaller tip. And it showed.  I did maybe four cupcakes before my arthritis showed up and threatened to kill me, so my daughter did the rest in her own style. 
They tasted great, so no one minded they looked like FrankenCakes.

 

Canned Icing

 

Mixed to a Pretty Pink.

 

Proof you can pipe through almost anything....I give

you....a zip lock bag. 

 

Watch the video below on how to use

Saran Wrap for easy clean up!

 

And here is my sad cupcake.

Canned icing is so soft and hard to hold

up a shape without being

refrigerated then hard to use.

Here's some cupcakes my Jessa did. 

Now for what I was totally excited to do. Candy Bowls!

First step is to get hard candy. And pound it to death.

Some got pounded, and some didn't.  It's

all good. 

I took whole peppermint discs and laid

them out on wax paper on a cookie sheet, and sprinkled the crushed 

candy around. 

Then they went into a 350 degree oven. This is the tricky part.

Depending on the candy, it may smoke or it may not. 

Mine did.  But I just turned on the vent hood, opened

the kitchen window and kept watch.

In the meantime I made cellophane goodie bags of 

other candies.

There...after about 10 minutes, the candy should

be melted.

I let them sit on the cookie sheet for a few moments

just to cool them down and make sure

they weren't so liquidy.

\Then I laid them over an upside down bowl to

harden.

After about 30 minutes, I peeled off the wax paper

and filled them!

Here's an empty bowl. 

And here's them put together.

The girls were blown away.

It took them a few minutes to figure

out what it was. LOL

Happy Valentine's Day!

Yesterday I Tweeted that I don't want to hear anyone moaning and groaning and bitching and whining about how they don't have anyone today.  Single people hinge their whole romantic life on this one day.  If they are alone for Valentine's Day, they spend it saying what a stupid holiday it is.  Married people go either one way or the other going way overboard with the love or hate of this day.

Me? I'm usually spending my Valentine's Day laughing at the bitter posts from single people.  Generally they're very young and I laugh because they have no idea how to prioritize their grievances.  It's Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday and it won't matter if you got roses today.

Now, I say all that to say this - my husband isn't a 'romantic' so to speak.  He's a man who likes his cigars and music and scotch.  He's the man who says, "I just had a great idea!" at least 8 times a week and drives me knowingly insane with that.  He works second shift, so generally we are on opposite schedules.  He's the man I call 'Yeti' and whom I try not to smother in his sleep every night when he snores me out of bed.

And today, Valentine's Day, when I wasn't expecting anything, he surprised me. As per my usual, I was up around 2 30am.  I walked into the kitchen to heat up a cup of coffee.  And I see this.

Yes, the time is correct, almost 3am....I need coffee.

And he made a coupon.  Sushi..yes please.

The scary or chick flick movie line is

because those are my favs...and

not his. LOL

This is the card...we both love the Cash's, their love and

their story.  

And the mister wrote me a song when we were 

married called 'The June To My Johnny'.

So, Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours.

Later I'll be posting some cute V-Day crafts

and gift ideas. 

And to those who are alone today, don't whine. Go by yourself some damn

chocolate, stuff your face

and watch a sappy movie.

IceChipMaggedon 2012

Yesterday we had ice in Texas. It was crazy. I'm surprised our lawn furniture didn't dust under the weight of the ice falling from the sky.

We survived. And we have lived to tell about..............................................

Ice Chip Maggedon

Honey Wheat Bread...From Scratch

Every Sunday I make bread.  Usually white.  It seemed today everyone wanted wheat.

My youngest fruit of my loins couldn't wait to help. She LOVES getting her hands in some dough.

I want to direct you to a blog about what I say all the time about making things at home VS buying things premade.....like loaves of bread.

GO HERE - The Simple Dollar - and read!

Then come back here...this is a different recipe....but DO try hers as well.  I will!

7 c. whole wheat flour
8 c. white flour
2/3 c. oil
 2 tbsp. salt
 2 tbsp. yeast
 2/3 c. honey
4 lg. loaf pans, greased (or 2 large loaf pans)

 1. Mix yeast with 1/2 cup lukewarm water. Set aside.

2. Mix 5 cups hot water with 7 cups whole wheat flour.

3. To flour mixture, add 2/3 cup oil, 2/3 cup honey, 1 more cup whole wheat flour and 2 tablespoons salt and mix.

4. Add yeast mixture.

5. Add 4 or 5 more cups whole wheat flour.

6. Knead 10 minutes.

7. Divide dough  and put into loaf pans. 

8. Let rise in warm place about 35 minutes or 1/3 in bulk.


 9. Bake 35 to 40 minutes at 350 degrees

Then Nomz with whatever you like.

My girls did some honey and butter.