Monday, March 3, 2014

The Unlearning Process

I recently found a list of Life Lessons on the Huffington Post....we should really train ourselves to unlearn these. I'll put my own spin on them here.

1. Problems are bad. Drama. The dreaded word I loathe. People create it. Some relish in it. I look at problems like it's math...they must be solved. It's not always a bad thing....they're learning experiences. Dr. Phil always talks about 'right fighters' on his show....I, un-apologetically, say that I am a right fighter. When I'm out...because I will have almost forensic evidence to prove my argument. Why let those who lie, cheat and steal in any aspect get off scott-free just for the sake of saving face? In more serious problems, finding the answer (math-solution) is what makes you get the Gold Star! Right?

2. It's important to stay happy.  We have to stay happy...right? Staying happy is makes everyone around you feel good...right? I say, who cares.  Feel what you need to feel. Give yourself permission! Work through things. Move through issues. Faking happiness is just that...fake. Don't be a fake....that's too stressful.

3. I'm damaged by my past.  And? So what? I am damaged by some parts of my past. Most of us are. It's not a bad thing. Personal tragedies do leave scars. I've learned to wear them proudly. Because of my past, I am who I am today. Some people call it baggage in a derogatory term. So be it...for them. My baggage is carried as lessons, reminders. I can't help that these things happened, but I won't allow myself to forget them. If I forget them, they never happened. And it's because they happened that I learned a lesson.

4. Working hard leads to success.  Not necessarily. Playing hard is just as fruitful. I'm not saying be lazy and play and wait for positive results, I'm saying don't forget to play. Playing is also learning, whether it's work or're always learning.

5. Success is the opposite of failure. Relax. "Success is built on failure."  Truer words were never spoken. We constantly set ourselves up for failure. Then see failure as a bad thing. Try, try again.

6. It matters what people think of me.  Wrong again!  Do you really care what people think of you? Why? Why do you stress yourself out so much about what others think of you? People are going to think what they want regardless of how hard you try to convince them that you're awesome. All that work and for what?  Be you. Live you. Love you. But, do it with honesty and integrity. Sometimes we work so hard trying to impress people, we lose who we are.

7. We should think rationally about our decisions.  Pshaw! Our innate ability is much older and stronger than your rational abilities. Go with your gut. Thinking rational isn't always a bad thing....I'm just saying live a little. Pay attention to your physical response to decisions rather than your brain....sometimes.

8. The pretty girls get all the good stuff. Ugh. How ignorant is that thought? I personally never really had this thought. There was a time where I was the pretty girl, but didn't know it. So goes the lives of many pretty girls. I've always said that those girls who think this way may be pretty on the outside, but inside they're a cesspool of stinky tar that has the depth of a mirror. It may seem the 'pretty girls' get 'stuff' one really sees them for who they are, only what they are or what they project. I think people seeing you for who you are and what you've done is far more important that flawless skin and bouncy hair and a rockin' figure. I can say that now, as an adult. Our soul. Our being. That's what counts.

9. If all my wishes came true, life would be perfect. Perfection has side effects. Those who have everything generally are lacking in a lot of departments that you have in abundance. The perfect life is boring, in my opinion. My life is a learning process which is never boring. The 'things' are just that...inanimate tangible unfeeling things.

10. Loss is terrible. I do have to agree, loss is terrible, but it also teaches us to appreciate. Even in the worst of situations, people and things...there is learning. When I first discovered loss in my life I thought it was the end of the world. I thought I'd never amount to anything and fall flat on my face. I was never so wrong in my life. I learned from that loss. I grew. I did have plenty of pity parties for myself, I am human afterall. But I grew. I learned, while it took forever it seems, to not lose myself in someone else. And in the end, I learned that it was so much a loss but a triumph. I triumphed.


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