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Friday, June 20, 2014

Don't Ask Me How I Am


Just so everyone knows and when someone asks me "How are you doin' today?!" Here's your answer :

I have a headache. Every day.
Every day I wake up with a headache.
I've had seizures since my first migraine more than 20 years ago.
I have a headache right now.
I can handle it. I'm used to it.
When it's a migraine, you'll know.
You'll know because I'll be on the sofa, under a blanket, rocking just a little with a grimace on my face. I may be able to manage small wince now and again, but that's about it. I can't talk. I can't focus to see anything. I'm able to make it to the bathroom and that's about it.

Every step I take is painful.
From the bottoms, then the tops of my feet, to my knees, to my hips to my back....it's all pain.
I limp.
I gimp.
I hobble.
I've had RA since a young age, before that I was diagnosed with 'regular' arthritis at the age of 14.

My feet are swollen..mostly my left foot. It gets so swollen that my skin hurts. It hurts to walk. It hurts to rub it, but I do. It helps the swelling go down. I can put my finger pressure on my skin and leave a huge dent it's so swollen.

Speaking of skin....I keep a heat rash on my arms and the back of my neck through out the summer....because I'm that allergic to heat. So that's annoying as hell.

My fibromyalgia makes my skin literally pins and needles. Fingers and toes. Pins and needles. Sometimes the pain is so great, I can't open a loosely fitted jar lid.

Standing up, sitting down, attempting to move...it's all painful. But I do it...I move...I clean...I cook....etc. While it takes me longer and longer to do or finish...I do it....because if I didn't I'd just have to lie down and wait to die.

How are you doin'?

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