Monday, June 29, 2015

Dear Ted Cruz - and any other uptight Conservative Christian Bible Thumping Moron who opposes EQUAL RIGHTS

In light of the law passed by SCOTUS last week, the internet (and life in general) is in abundance of bible thumping so loud my body is vibrating.

The stupidity abounding is so affluent, that I've had to wear my Cloak Of Common Sense in conjunction with my Cape Of Reality. I never wear both at the same time to ward off the stupid, but this week it's been a dire necessity.

Today, I pen a letter to  many....the stupid, the stubborn and the unbearable loud for no reason. One is Ted Cruz, but includes Dan Patrick and Michele Bachman, among others.

Ted Cruz and I went to rival highschools. I remember that plea he made to possessing alcohol as a minor. And another incident involving senior pranks. He covered for you fellow hijinxers. Covering the wrongdoers? Tisk Tisk. Bad decisions in the 80s hasn't stopped. Has it?

Dear Ted Cruz,

How can you justify backing someone who refuses a marriage license for a gay couple over religious freedom and disagreeing with our government giving gays HUMAN RIGHTS? You choose religion over humans?

The First Amendment states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion". Guess what? Not every marriage is based in religion.

People like you cry about this being an unfair law because it disagrees with your religious freedom (which we ALL do not share). But we are ALL human and homosexual couples are overdue for EQUALITY.

You said you wouldn't back a person denying a mixed couple a marriage license. Right? Because that isn't a religious issue. Right? Neither is homosexuality. WHO YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO IS NOT A RELIGIOUS ISSUE EITHER! BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS!

Get over yourself. Stop talking. You, along with a lot of other bible thumpers and conservatives, are looking like babies who's pacifiers were taken away.

But, let's just for a moment, humor you and your religious rights to other people's marriages based on the bible. Ok? The Bible's definition of marriage is confusing and contradictory. For instance, one man and one woman? Nope. Polygamy, a practice that was embraced by prominent biblical figures Abraham and David, was rampant throughout your holy book.  Many bible passages mention not only traditional monogamy, but also self-induced castration and celibacy, as well as the practice of wedding rape victims to their rapists. The rapist would have to marry who they raped, but not only that. They can pay off the girls' fathers with silver. Lovely. Do you support rape too then?

You, among others, have made a career out of using the Bible to justify opposition to hot-button topics like same-sex marriage or abortion. People like you aren't interested in the truth or the complexity of the bible. You are looking for one ancient sound bite to convince people what you want them to believe. Anyone who argues that the bible speaks plainly on one issue, especially something as complicated as marriage ... hasn't take the time to read all of it.

You want to fight in the name of religious freedom? Ok. Go after Christians who eat fish and bacon. Attack those wearing multiple fabrics. Arrest women not covering their heads, or in the least cut all their hair.

Also, I've been thinking that you need to add to your platform. I think if you add construction, which means more jobs!, of Lady Buildings. That way, all ladies having their monthly bill can be just corralled up together until they're done bleeding. That way, everything they touch (which is  unclean and impure) can be burned together. What do you think? Do you put Heidi aside during her time? I hope you don't touch her. Impure! Unclean!

I also think you should not only try to stifle gay rights, but go after those who try to protect children. Child slavery is a good thing! Well, according to your bible. You may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way. Leviticus 25:44-46

But, if the police and society followed your bible to the letter, you'd not be here. Any son who disobeys their parents are to be stoned. I mean, certainly your parents told you drinking or possessing booze underage is wrong. Right? Why didn't they stone you? Shame, shame. Bad BAD Christians!

Do you check every man's penis on the regular? I mean, ANY penis that is cut is an abomination. Did you have a circumcision? How do you hang? If it's cut...sorry, you are not allowed into the kingdom of the Lord.

And finally, the definition of marriage. Christians say this law is redefining marriage. Guess what? It's already been redefined by man a LONG time ago. It's NOT redefined by this law. Not by a long shot. We don't live biblical marriage today, do we? Time changes things and we evolve, while the book stays the same.

Thank goddess you people don't take the bible as serious as you pretend to. We'd all be in big trouble.



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